ELAINE EHLERS BLACK

ELAINE EHLERS BLACK

(The Elaine I knew and loved.)

Before I get started I want to clear up something that is in error. Some years back Joel sent Tal a handwritten copy of a tribute to Grandma and Grandpa Ehlers (Arnold and Thelma) written by Elaine. Tal forwarded that copy to me. It is a beautiful piece of writing. She described her parents perfectly. Grandma and Grandpa were everything she said and more. I was closer to my mother-in-law than to my own mother. However, she did make two glaring errors and I want to clear that up before I proceed with my stories about her..

She told of how generous her parents were and the continual monetary help she and Narda received. The errors she made are when she mentioned that Grandpa “gave” Jack the half acre (on Claybourne) and also grandpa “gave” Jack his Architectural business. Neither of those are true. I will explain. Jack and I had bought and paid for three lots at Summit Park at the top of Parley's canyon. It was beautiful and we thought it would be a fun adventure to build our home up there. We couldn't do it immediately (for which I have been eternally grateful) but that was the original plan. We were living in Sandy on Carnation Drive at that time. One day Jack told me he had been talking to Grandpa and Grandpa was getting tired of taking care of so much property. He told Jack we could buy one-half acre if we wanted to live on Claybourne Avenue. I had been thinking that perhaps living up the canyon wouldn't be all that wonderful. The kids would be going to school in Park City. Though they wouldn't be old enough to drive for several years, I thought about the possibility of them driving the canyon to Park City to activities, especially in the winter, and it gave me some concern . Also, I wasn't sure I wanted to drive down the canyon to Salt Lake for music lessons, shopping, etc. When Jack mentioned the possibility of living next to Grandma and Grandpa I “jumped all over it”. I thought it was a fantastic idea. We didn't have the money to buy the Claybourne property at that time BUT we had paid for the three lots at Summit Park. We worked out a trade with Grandpa. Later, Grandpa sold the lots at Summit Park at a nice profit. Grandpa was good at making a profit on property. He bought low and waited until he could make a profit.

Also, about Grandpa “giving Jack his Architectural business”: While Grandpa and Grandma were in Germany in the 1960's, Jack started his own Architectural business. It was called A. Jack Ehlers, Architect. When Grandpa completed his service in Germany he semi-retired. He seemed to enjoy working around the place and taking care of his huge property was certainly a full-time job. Jack had built an addition on our house in Sandy and that was his architectural office. I was his secretary. We didn't want to put the kids in day-care so I could be his secretary. With his office attached to our home I could take care of the kids and do the secretarial work. Also, he needed someone to answer his phone when he was out of his office so we put an extension into the house so I could take those calls. It worked out well. (Jack didn't want the noise of the kids in the background when I answered “office” calls so I took the time to teach them that when the phone rang they were to be very quiet.) Jack had acquired and completed about eight jobs while Grandpa was in Germany.

But Jack had always dreamed of having a partnership with his Dad. After Grandpa came back from Germany Jack talked to his Dad a few times about working together. Finally, the Salt Lake City School District wanted to build a new Elementary School to be called Parkview Elementary. There was a “fad” going around the nation where they built schools with several four-room “pods” Each room could be separate but all four rooms could be one classroom. (I cannot remember what they called it but I have described it.) Jack wanted to do that school and began making preparations to try to get the job. He talked to his Dad and his Dad found the concept interesting so he said he'd like to work with Jack to see whether they could get the job. Grandpa had designed a couple of schools for the Salt Lake City School District when he had his partnership with Lorenzo “Bing” Young (Young and Ehlers). I'm willing to admit that Grandpa's name may have been a tipping point for them to get the job but it was Jack's office and Jack's practice. After Grandpa agreed to work with Jack, Jack changed the name of his Architectural Firm to “Ehlers and Ehlers, Architects .”

Jack worked long hours. Also, he was still supervising the construction on some of the jobs he had done while Grandpa was in Germany. Grandpa came to the office five days a week. He would arrive about 11:00 a.m. At noon I would fix lunch and he took time to eat and then he would work until 3:00 p.m. At 3:00 he would leave and go home to work in his yard. Grandpa was putting in about four hours per day. Jack was putting in anywhere from 10 to 16 hours per day, while supervising his other jobs. When we were paid, Grandpa got his “full share” (1/2) of the fee. That was the agreement. Our share of the fee paid the overhead, supplies, and other miscellaneous expenses before we made any money. Neither Jack nor I ever complained about the arrangement. We loved Grandpa. We were happy to have the association with him. We'd have done whatever he asked. Jack had bought a printer so we didn't have to take the drawings down town to have them reproduced. Jack and I generally did the printing in the evening and into the early morning hours. We would take all the kids out to the office with blankets and pillows so they could sleep while we worked. Also, we had to make copies of the specifications to go with the plans.

After the school was completed, we sold the house in Sandy and moved into an apartment in Garden Heights South Ward while we built enough of our house on Claybourne that we could move into the basement. Jack and Grandpa moved their Architectural office into the “Coop” back of Grandpa's house. I was still doing the secretarial work at home. After the school was completed, Jack and Grandpa were asked to take the components from the Church “Pavilion” at the New York World's Fair and design an LDS Chapel in Plainview, New York, using those components. That was an exciting project. Jack had to get the license to practice Architecture in New York. Grandpa did not have the degrees to acquire a New York license. That job was done entirely on Jack's license. Grandpa did the traveling to supervise the moving of the components from New York City and the construction of the Chapel in Plainview. Jack did not get to see the building until several years later when we went to a Rotary Convention in Montreal, Canada, and traveled into Plainview, specifically to see the building. I did the typing for all of the “Specifications” on all of the jobs. I was a very accurate typist. I had to be. One tiny mistake could have cost us thousands of dollars. However, I did make one tiny mistake on the “specs” for the Plainview Chapel. Fortunately, Grandpa caught the mistake and was able to correct it before it became an issue. I was extremely embarrassed. I apologized. Grandpa said, “No problem. I caught it and it's okay.” Later, I apologized again and he said, “You have already apologized. There is no need for another apology. You do a great job.” I was happy for his understanding.

The Church Architectural Department had been “wooing” Grandpa for some time. They just simply wanted him to be there with them. They were calling him nearly every day. After the New York job was completed, he decided to “give in” and go back to work for the Church. Jack would have loved to have his Dad work with him further but Grandpa went back to work for the Church and Jack had his own practice for many years. He opened his Architectural practice on his own and aside for the short time Grandpa was with him and for a short-lived partnership with Gordon Gygi, Jack had his own Architectural Practice. No one gave him anything. He worked his tail off for many years. He kept the name “Ehlers and Ehlers” hoping one of his sons would become an Architect and join him. Didn't happen.

Grandpa did help us out a couple of times. We were married November 5, 1951. Almost immediately we had to leave for California where Jack was to report to the El Toro Marine Base by Santa Ana. We borrowed $50.00 from Grandpa so we'd have enough money to rent an apartment. We were in California five weeks and Jack got his orders to go to Korea. He was to be in Korea for a year but only had to stay six months. I stayed with Mom and Dad Ehlers while he was gone. (I have mentioned this in my Durant stories.) I was hired to work at The Church Welfare Offices and when I received my first pay check I paid Grandpa the $50.00 we owed him. In the 1960's there was a mild slowdown in the economy and the Architects always feel it first. We borrowed $400.00 from Grandpa. When Jack got his next job, we paid Grandpa back.

I'm wondering if the reason Elaine mentioned that Grandpa had “given” Jack the half acre and his Architectural practice (even though it was untrue) that it made her feel less guilty about having accepted money from Grandpa for so many years. That's how it appears to me.

But, it's like I said at the beginning, “Everything else Elaine said about her parents is absolutely true.” They were wonderful people. Everyone loved them. Grandpa helped many people in the neighborhood never asking for or expecting anything in return. And Grandma's lessons in Relief Society were incredible. I used to drive in from Sandy just to hear her lessons. She taught me a great deal about how to teach. (I have wondered why, with Jack and Elaine being raised by such remarkable and wonderful parents, that neither of them inherited any of their parents traits.)

Okay, now my early memories of Elaine. I have to begin by telling you stories about Jack's and my meeting and courtship in order to tell you about Elaine. I had a job as a statistical typist at American National Insurance Company in the old Continental Bank Building at 2^nd South and Main Street in downtown Salt Lake City. I believe Jack was working for Fetzer and Fetzer, Architects. He had been drafted by the Army shortly after the Korean War started. It was August 1951. One Friday my sister, Grace, called me and asked me if I would consider going on a date with a friend of Ray Ertmann.

Ray Ertmann was Grace's boss. Ray Ertmann was also Jack's former Scout Master. Jack had known Ray for years and held Ray in high regard. Ray knew me from previous years of his working with Grace in a different setting. (Eventually, I will be telling the full, detailed story of how I first met Ray in my blog, but for now, just know that I knew Ray and liked and trusted him.) I immediately said, “Sure.” Grace had told Ray that I was dating but not having any fun. Ray told Grace that Jack had been at Ray's house in Midvale on Thursday night and complained that he'd like to have a date before he was to go in the service but had not been able to get one. Just off the top of his head Ray said, “I know of a girl. I don't know for sure but would you go out with a friend of mine if she is available?” Jack trusted Ray implicitly. He said yes. Grace told me Ray would work things out but that the date would probably be Monday night. How about a date to go dancing at Lagoon? (They used to have dances at Lagoon every Monday night.) Ray got in touch with Jack and Jack approved so Ray called Grace and Grace called me and I said okay.

Jack came to pick me up Monday evening. We went to Lagoon and danced. We had a super great time and we enjoyed each others company. Besides that, he thought I was gorgeous. So, after our date on Monday, he asked if I would go to a movie with him on Tuesday evening. I said I would. He came to pick me up and told me he wanted to introduce me to his family. He took me to his folks home and I met Grandma, Elaine and Narda in the house and Grandpa out in the yard. They were all gracious and welcoming and made me feel very much at home. As I recall, Grandma had made a cake and lemonade and we talked for a while, then Jack and I went to the movie.

The next morning, Wednesday, the Ehlers and their friends, (I think the name of the other family was Gygi) left to take a 10 day trip up to the Northwest and into Canada. Grandma and Grandpa figured it was probably the last time they would be together as a family to go on a trip. As it turned out, it was the last time. Jack was scheduled to go into the Army two weeks from the day of our second date. Jack wrote me three letters while he was on the trip with his family. In the third letter he said, “Be ready at 5:00 a.m. Sunday morning so we can go to Blanding to meet your folks.” I was ready and we did go meet my folks. (More about that on my blog at a later time.) We arrived Sunday afternoon. Jack helped my Dad and Durant unload a truckload of baled hay into the barn. We went to Sacrament Meeting, stayed overnight and left Monday morning to go back to SLC. Jack was to report for the Army on Tuesday.

He went to Fort Douglas Tuesday morning. Later on Tuesday he called me and said he wouldn't be leaving until Wednesday because he was going to be in the Marine Corps instead of the Army (more about that on my blog, later) and could he come over to see me? He did, and Wednesday morning he left with the Marines. We wrote every day until he came home on “boot leave” and we got married. He had asked me to marry him and I said, “yes.” We made our plans in the letters we wrote. Of course, he was also writing to his folks and I kept them updated regarding the wedding, as well.

Now, about Elaine. Elaine called me on Thursday (the day after Jack left to go to Boot Camp) to invite me to a picnic with her “gang”. It was Labor Day weekend and they were going to have a picnic somewhere in the mountains and would I like to come? I said yes. She told me her Dad would pick me up. He did and I went to the picnic with her group. Elaine introduced me and everyone seemed to know I was dating Jack. Her friends were very welcoming. We had a great time. It was quite interesting because one of the girls at the picnic was a girl who had dated Jack and they had been engaged to be married. Her name was JoAnne Pearson. JoAnne's mother was violently opposed to their marriage because her plans for JoAnne were for her to graduate from college and serve a mission before she got married. JoAnne wanted to marry Jack and rebelled against her mother. She really gave her mother a bad time. So, her mother faked a heart attack and pretended to be dying. JoAnne felt guilty because she thought she had caused the heart attack and she gave the engagement ring back to Jack. Suddenly, her mother miraculously recovered. I knew Jack had been engaged to two different girls but I didn't know until later that JoAnne was one of them. It could have been awkward but JoAnne didn't say or do anything and neither did anyone else, until later. (At one time, JoAnne and Elaine were best friends but Elaine did not want Jack to marry JoAnne. She kept telling Jack not to marry her. Of course, Jack did not want to listen to Elaine. Elaine was happy when they broke up.)

After Jack broke up with JoAnne he began dating a girl who lived across the street. Her name was Mettie Anderson. They dated a while and Jack asked her to marry him. She was ecstatic and said, “Yes.” Jack gave her a ring. Elaine did not want Jack to marry Mettie. Mom Ehlers didn't want Jack to marry JoAnne or Mettie, either. Elaine was very vocal about how he should not marry JoAnne and then Mettie. Mom also hinted at the same thing but she was not as vocal as Elaine. He, essentially, told them to “butt out” and continued to date. Jack and Mettie were talking about a temple marriage and she even went so far as to get a recommend. Mettie's mother was not a member and her dad was not active and they didn't want their daughter to get married in a place where they could not attend the wedding. The Andersons were very vocal and negative and gave Jack and Mettie a lot of grief. Finally, Jack told Mettie he wanted the ring back for a “short time” until her parents settled down a little. Mettie reluctantly gave the ring back and told him she hated to give the ring back because she was afraid she would never get it again. She was right.

Elaine invited me to do something with her almost every weekend and sometimes during the week. We spent time with her “gang” and sometimes we spent time at home with family. Jack and I had already decided we would be getting married on his “boot leave.” Jack's family was already considering me part of the family. I loved Jack's family and they seemed to like me, as well. Grace and Elaine were my attendants at the reception. After the wedding we went to California.

We thought we would be in California for Christmas so we bought a tree. We bought some cheap decorations. Jack's birthday was on December 11^th. His Mom had send him a gift and Elaine also sent him a gift. It couldn't have been more appropriate or more appreciated. It was a string of Christmas lights. We weren't able to afford lights so we planned to just use the cheap decorations. Those lights made the tree perfect. Jack received his orders to go to Korea on about the 17^th of December. There was a cute young couple (Dave and Loral Erickson) in our apartment complex and he was kind've a scrooge. His wife was 16. He was 23. (Their story is interesting. I will be telling that later in my blog.) She wanted a Christmas tree and he wouldn't let her have one. (Gee whiz! She was just a kid.) We took the lights off our tree and gave her the tree with the cheap decorations on it. She was really happy.

We drove through part of Arizona, New Mexico and Colorado to get to Blanding to spend a little time with my Mom and Dad. We stayed there a couple of days and drove to Salt Lake City to spend Christmas with the Ehlers. Oh, my goodness, what a Christmas that was. I had never seen anything like that in my life. The decorations were magnificent. The food was heavenly. The gifts were amazing and more than plentiful. I was almost overwhelmed because the Ehlers' family was so incredibly good to me. We celebrated Christmas Eve at Grandma and Grandpa Erickson's home. This was a whole new world and I had Elaine by my side helping me with everything.

After the holidays were over Jack had to head to California on his way to Korea. I had to stay behind but I was fortunate enough to get to go back to California to spend another week. Jack's deployment to Korea was delayed about 10 days. He called and wanted to know if I could get on the bus to Los Angeles and come stay with him for one more week. I could and did. By the time I arrived there, Dave and Loral Erickson who were lonely in Newport Beach had found a fairly decent size apartment in Santa Ana. They invited Jack and I to stay with them while I was there. There was a fold-up bed in the apartment so we put it in the living room and that's where we stayed during the week I was there. I will be telling more about Dave and Loral and our stay in their apartment on my blog at a later time. Just know how happy we were to be able to spend an extra week together before he had to go overseas.

After I went back to SLC I decided to take a week and go to Blanding to visit family and friends. When I arrived back in SLC from Blanding I went job hunting. Elaine was also job hunting and she wanted a job somewhere at the Church offices. That sounded like a good idea to me, as well. We both applied. Elaine could not only type but I believe she knew shorthand, as well. I applied as a statistical typist and the next day I was called for an interview. I was interviewed by Bishop Irvin Nydegger. He liked me and wanted me to also be interviewed by Elder ElRay L. Christiansen who was an assistant to the Quorum of 12 Apostles. Elder Christiansen liked me and I was hired. Elaine was interviewed and was hired to work in President McKay's office. (I know! I have already mentioned this in Durant's stories.) We were both very pleased. We never were able to ride the bus together to or from work because we had different schedules. I was working full time and she was going to school and working part time. We did have the evenings together. We always looked forward to Tuesday nights. That's when we attended Mutual (MIA). We were both Gleaners (you can look that up on your computers).

Our teacher was Betty Jean Chipman. She was so great. We all loved Betty Jean. Most of the girls there were in Elaine's “gang” so it was always fun.

One day Elaine, Grandma Ehlers and I were in the kitchen together. Elaine told me how much she and Mom had disapproved of Jack's engagement to JoAnne and then Mettie. Then she added, “But when Jack brought you home with him I whispered to Mom that 'this one is better than the others so we'd better not say anything against her'”. I have always appreciated knowing Elaine felt that way about me. She certainly bent over backward to make me feel welcome and be part of the family.

A couple of nights a week we would get together with the girls in her gang. Sometimes we went to a movie. Sometimes we went to someone's home and played games. Sometimes we just drove around for a while. On those evenings we usually went to a drive-in hamburger place to get a soda, shake or ice cream cone. The girls always wanted me to go to the window to order and bring the food back to the car. A couple of times I wondered why I was always sent. Finally, I mustered up the courage to ask Elaine. She laughed and said, “Because you are the prettiest and sexiest. We like you to go because guys always want to talk to you and sometimes they follow you back to the car.” Then she instructed me to tell the guys who approached me: “I'm married but there are some cute girls in the car and they are not married.” So, that's what I said. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't. The gist of this story is: I was extremely flattered and from that day forward, I felt like I belonged to the “gang” and it also felt like I had another sister .

In the Spring of 1952, Grandma helped Elaine and I make new dresses for Easter. They were both gorgeous. Easter was April 6^th. Of course, the Annual Church Conference was in session. Also, it was my 19^th birthday. Grandpa had bought a used 1948 (I think) Buick to give to Elaine so she would have some wheels. Elaine thought it would be fun to go to Temple Square on Easter Sunday afternoon. She invited her friend, Georgia Bernard, who lived up the street, to go with us. Elaine planned to take “her” car. Grandpa told her he wanted to sit in the car while she backed out just to be sure she would be okay. Grandpa was in the front passenger seat. Georgia and I were in the back seat. Elaine started to back out. Georgia and I saw that she was not watching where she was going. Suddenly Grandpa shouted: “Stop!” Elaine slammed on the brake and Grandpa told her to watch where she was going. He told her she was within a foot of running into the rock pillar on the west side of the driveway. (She was so close to hitting the pillar that even if she had turned the car it would still have hit the pillar.) Elaine took the car out of gear, turned off the motor, got out of the car and ran into the house. Grandpa followed her into the house. Georgia and I just sat there for a minute or so, not knowing what else to do. Finally, we decided to go into the house and see what was going on. When we went into the house Elaine was yelling at Grandpa. She told him he had no right to yell at her. He tried to tell her that she was not watching where she was going and that he had to yell to make her stop quickly. She would have none of that. It was Grandpa's fault that she was going to hit the pillar, etc., etc. Grandpa was absolutely right and she was wrong but it was Grandpa who apologized. She said, “I will never drive that car again.” Grandpa apologized again and began to beg her to drive the car. He went out and straightened the car so it could be backed out safely, went back in the house and begged her to go ahead and drive the car but she would have nothing to do with it. That was the only tantrum I saw her have while I lived with them, but it was a doozy. She would not drive the car. It had begun to look as though we would not be going to Temple Square but Georgia came to the rescue. Georgia's parents let Georgia take their car and we went to Temple Square and had a great time.

The sun was shining. It was warm and gorgeous. We couldn't get into the Tabernacle but we sat on the lawn and there were outside speakers so we could hear conference. We had a lovely day following her tantrum. Neither Georgia nor I mentioned anything so everything was good.

Now I am going to back up a couple of years. Mom and Dad Ehlers took Elaine and Narda and went to Chicago to pick up Jack when his mission was finished. They owned a 1947 Dodge car. After they picked up Jack they did some sight seeing but before they headed home they drove to Flint, Michigan. Dad had ordered a new Buick before they left SLC to pick up Jack in Chicago. The Buick was ready to be picked up. They drove two cars home. Dad drove the Buick and Jack drove the Dodge. Jack bought the Dodge from Dad and was making payments on it. When we got married there was still $600.00 owing on the Dodge. Dad gave the Dodge to us for a wedding present. That is what we drove to California. Before Jack left to go to Korea he put the Dodge up on blocks in Dad's big garage. There was no need to leave it for me to drive. I didn't drive. I could drive but I didn't like to and I did not have a license. There were buses, after all. (While we lived in Seattle I really learned to drive and got a license. After that I enjoyed driving.) Grandma almost always took the bus when she went downtown. Elaine and I took the bus to work and I believe she took the bus to school, as well.

On Saturdays Elaine and I divided up the housework. Sometimes we traded jobs. We also helped Grandpa in the yard. Those were the days when everything had to be ironed. We generally did our ironing on Saturday. We always hurried to get the work done so we could do fun things. Durant came to Salt Lake more often than he had been. Elaine was still being “coy” but we knew they would get married. Durant stayed with our sister, Grace, when he came north.

As warm weather came, we had more picnics and parties. More of the boys in the gang were being drafted into the military. I do not remember when Durant was drafted but he was around for a while. In July, Jack came home from Korea. His next assignment was in Quantico, Virginia, so we loaded up the Dodge and drove East. Elaine wrote letters to keep us apprised of what was going on in her life. At first, she just talked about dating---more than just Durant. As time went on, it was more about dating Durant and then the talk was about a wedding. We were in Virginia until nearly the end of August at which time we were transferred to Albany, Georgia. Elaine wrote to tell me when the wedding would be and asked if we would be able to come home so I could be her Matron of Honor at the reception. Jack asked for and received permission for a two week leave so we could come home for the wedding. I've already mentioned somewhere that Mom sent me the material and pattern so I could make my dress for the reception. After the wedding we had to head back to Georgia. Durant and Elaine headed for California at some point but I do not remember the timing for that. After they were married both Durant and Elaine corresponded with us and we with them, just so we'd know what was going on in both our lives.

Elaine became pregnant fairly soon after they were married and Joel was born in July 9, 1954. I still was not able to conceive. Elaine let me know she was concerned and was “rooting” for me. Finally, I became pregnant and Bret was born in December 21, 1957. Elaine had read some books (I had, as well) but she took what she read literally and I took some of it literally. I decided I needed to use common sense and didn't rely as much on the books. That seemed to be the beginning of the end of our previously close relationship. When I didn't always take her advice she seemed to be offended. I thought I probably should be offended that she was always offering unasked for advice. However, I was not offended. I just ignored it. When our kids began to get married, we would get together and make a quilt. It was always a fun time.

We had family gatherings on the Fourth and Twenty-fourth of July, Thanksgiving and Christmas and everyone was cordial. I loved those parties and looked forward to them. In June of 1984 we moved to Lake Powell and getting together wasn't possible.

I will admit there were harsh words exchanged after Grandpa passed away. Elaine had manipulated Grandpa into changing the Family Trust to her advantage and Jack was not a happy camper. I can tell you now that there was no love lost between Elaine and Jack. Having said that, I will mention one thing that has puzzled me for several years. Beginning in about 1995, Jack began to, occasionally, do and say things that, in retrospect, were really strange. Because these episodes were few and far between, I didn't give them too much thought. As time went on, he did or said things that were really bizarre and he was having a lot of difficulty trying to remember things. His driving became terrible. I was afraid to ride with him but afraid not to ride with him for fear he wouldn't be able to find his way home. I begged him to let me drive but he thought his driving was fine. He would get in the car and five minutes later I'd have to yell at him, spray him with water, hit him on his shoulder to try to keep him awake. It became beyond scary. Finally, I began to get to the car before he did and get in the driver's seat. He didn't like it but I told him I would not ride with him at the wheel any more. If he wanted to drive he would drive alone. I also hid his set of keys.

It got to the point that I had to be entirely responsible for everything. We had three vehicles. That was two more than we needed. Jack's name was on the Titles and he refused to sell anything. He could no longer take care of the vehicles so I had to. He had a black pick-up truck which he loved. I never liked it for a variety of reasons but I had to keep that monster operating. He could not take care of the dog. That was a chore I did not need and in spite of his objections, I gave the dog away. (I have never cared for dogs. Jack loved dogs so we had dogs.) I had to take care of the yard, the house, the vehicles and he became unable to take care of himself so I had to do that, as well.

At that time, Tal and Julianne were living in Loa, Utah. They came to visit a couple of times and they both said, “Mom, you can't take care of dad by yourself. You need to move to Loa so we can help you.” They were able to find a house for me in Loa and Bret helped sell our house in Big Water. It was great having a smaller yard and I finally got Jack to sign the title to the truck so I could sell it. Tal, Juli and their kids helped me a lot. But they both had jobs; they were EMT's and rode on the ambulance. Whenever anyone had to be transported to a Hospital, the ambulance had to go to Richfield because that was the closest hospital. Tal was part of the Search and Rescue, Fire Department and was the Public Information Officer for the County. Then Eric was diagnosed with Lukemia and after the initial hospital stay, they had to make a trip to Salt Lake City for his Chemo treatments every few weeks. Maybe it was once a month.

Jack had a walker but he refused to use it and he was very unstable on his feet. He began to fall. His falls became more and more frequent. One month he fell four times. He weighed over 300 pounds. I could not lift him off the floor and he could not get up by himself. One time he fell in the bathroom. I was able to get my back against a cabinet and roll him over. I helped him to his knees. He was able to grab onto the sink counter and with me lifting from behind we got him on his feet. I ended up with a hernia for which I had to have surgery. Jack's care was more than all of us could handle. My doctor was worried about my well-being and, frankly, so was I. Jack got so he wouldn't take showers and all he would do was watch TV. He spent so much time in his big chair that he got bed sores. When the Doctor saw the bed sores he had me take Jack to the hospital in Richfield. He was in the hospital for four days and they admitted him to the Care Center in Richfield. I cannot tell you the relief I felt.

When Elaine heard about Jack being in a Care Center she was livid. I don't know why she cared because they never got along. They didn't even like each other. I heard that she sent both Joel and Kort to the Care Center to see how bad Jack was and whether he really needed to be there. I do not know for certain that they were there or what their findings were but I guess the more she thought about it the more angry she became at me. By then I did not care what she thought. I did what I had to do. But I'm guessing that is why she will not let Durant talk to me. She still seems to be holding a grudge.

She no longer appears to be the wonderful sister I loved so much. How I would love to go visit them. I hold no grudges. Life is too short for that.

P.S. I went to visit my sister, Grace, Friday, June 26th-- the day before her 92^nd birthday. Grace told me Durant had called her a couple of days before and they chatted for a few minutes. She told me she asked Durant: “What are you doing these days?” He replied: “Taking care of Elaine.”