Thursday, October 2, 2008

I AM IN MOURNING

No, silly! Jack is safely alive in the Care Center in Richfield. I am mourning the death of Paul Newman. I have been enamored of him since the 50’s. How could anyone not be in love with that beautiful face and those magnificent blue eyes? But he adored Joan Woodward. I wouldn’t have stood a chance. One time a reporter asked Paul why he never strayed. Paul’s reply was classic: “Why should I dally with hamburger when I have steak at home?” (I may have paraphrased that a little.)

When Tal was in the play “West Side Story” I watched him on stage and the thought crossed my mind that he resembled Paul Newman. I didn’t tell him my thoughts for quite some time because I assumed, perhaps, he would not like me telling him he resembled an “old” man. Finally, I told Tal I hoped he would not be offended but I thought he looked like Paul Newman. He just laughed and said, “Oh, I’ve heard that before.”

Well, enough of that! I have had an eventful month. As you know, I drove to Cedar City to visit with Patti, Dave and Danielle. I was fortunate to be able to watch Danielle’s High School Varsity soccer game. I had been wishing I could see her play and it was wonderful. Of course, I knew nothing about soccer but Patti was well qualified to fill me in on what was happening and when Danielle’s team won---that was an extra bonus. Very exciting! Dusty came to the game and brought his current “squeeze” Vanessa. Cute girl and very nice and feisty. I’ve been home for a couple of weeks so I don’t know whether they are still hanging out together. It was great to see Dusty again. Dave came home from Vernal late Thursday night and I had a couple of nice chats with him. I love that guy. Patti was the perfect hostess and it was so good to have a chance to visit with her again. I really do have unusually special children---all of them. I have been greatly blessed.

Patti already told you she took me to see Shakespeare’s “Julius Ceasar.” Fred Adams gave us an overview of what the play was about and in doing so, he quoted some of the more famous lines in the play. I remembered that I had heard those lines from my mother-in-law. For those of you who do not know, Thelma Ehlers was Jack’s mother. While Jack was in Korea I lived with Jack’s parents (at their request) and it was a wonderful time for me. Mom and Dad Ehlers were very good to me and I loved them very much. I always loved them a lot. I was much closer to her than I was to my own mother. Grandma and Grandpa Ehlers did seem to favor their two daughters’ children more than mine and that irritated me, but they were good to me, personally. I always tried to be good to them, as well.

While Patti and I were sitting in the theater before the play started, I told her some things about Grandma Ehlers and her love of all things Shakespeare. Patti said she never knew those things about Grandma Ehlers and was quite amazed at what I told her. It occurred to me that all of you might want to learn more about one of your ancestors so that is what I will focus on in this chapter.

Years ago, before we began having the three-hour “block” meetings on Sunday, we had Priesthood Meetings, Sunday School and Sacrament Meetings on Sunday. Relief Society was held on Tuesday afternoons at 2:00 p.m. Tuesday evening we had M.I.A. (Mutual Improvement Association—now known as Young Men and Young Women). Primary was on Wednesday afternoon at 2:00 p.m. during the summer and right after school during the winter. That was the schedule if there was only one ward in a Chapel. Of course, if there was more than one ward in the building the schedule was different for the other ward. As I recall, they would have one schedule for a year and then change with the other ward for a year.

Today, I will focus on Relief Society. The first week of the month the lesson was spiritual. The second week was homemaking and we always had a light lunch. The third week we had lessons on human relations that dealt with most of the situations people encounter in life. (I gave those lessons for about 12 years: first, in our Ward in Sandy, then in Garden Heights South Ward where we lived while our home was being built, and when we moved into our home I received the same calling in the Garden Heights North Ward. It was very educational for me and though it was a huge undertaking every month, I thoroughly enjoyed the challenge.) The fourth week was devoted to literature for 10 or 12 years. Grandma Ehlers was called to do the literature lessons in the Garden Heights North Ward. She was absolutely perfect for that job. She was imminently qualified. I don’t remember all of the authors we studied but I do remember that three years were set aside to study Shakespeare. Fortunately, for me, we didn’t begin to study Shakespeare until after we had moved from Sandy. Obviously, Garden Heights South Ward Relief Society was on a different day than Garden Heights North and I began attending Grandma Ehlers lessons on Shakespeare. That woman was a wonder. She was very well-read and well-spoken and she loved Shakespeare. I wouldn’t dare suggest that all the wards in the Church had GREAT teachers like Grandma Ehlers but we really “lucked out.” I’m reasonably certain that the classes Thelma Ehlers taught were equivalent to what we may have gotten if we had been studying literature at a University. Her classes were always packed.

Some of her lessons stand out more in my mind than others. I remember when she did Romeo and Juliet. She did the entire balcony scene from memory. It was incredible! She had studied Shakespeare enough that she understood it very well and if there were passages that were not easy for a lot of people to understand, she could explain those passages.

I remember the day she did Julius Caesar. She told the story and recited the speeches that Fred Adams recited to us before the play began. As Fred Adams spoke I realized that I was remembering those same speeches from Grandma Ehlers’ lesson. The lessons she taught are probably as close to a course at a University as I will ever get. Grandma always thought that Shakespeare must have been very familiar with the Bible because he echoed many things from the Bible in his own writings. He touched on the evils of murder, greed, infidelity, jealousy, theft, etc., etc. Several times she mentioned that if you want to know right from wrong and can't seem to get through the Bible, just read the works of Shakespeare. I have thought, on occasion, that it probably wouldn't be any more time consuming to read the Bible than to read the entire works of Shakespeare but, at least, it offers an alternative.

I must tell you one more thing about Grandma Ehlers. She had a very subtle sense of humor. What I am about to tell you occurred several years before she began teaching the literature lessons at Relief Society. I became pregnant with Bret in March of 1957 and gave birth to him December 21, 1957. In March of 1958, I became pregnant with Jackie and gave birth to her December 22, 1958. Yes, one year and one day apart. Near the end of February, 1959, my mother-in-law called me and said: “Marilyn, beware the Ides of March.” For those of you who do not know---“Beware the Ides of March” is a line from Julius Caesar. It was just a reminder to me that she was thinking of me and I smile every time I think of it. Patti was born May 27, 19661. No more December babies. Shanna was born 14-1/2 months after Patti, August 12, 1962. And, of course, Tal was born almost five years later on July 25, 1967. As you can see, I took Grandma Ehlers’ advice.

Grandma Ehlers was 5’ 2” tall and she was a little “spitfire.” She obtained her driver’s license and drove their car a couple of times. One day Grandpa asked her to back the car out of the driveway and drive it down the street to pick him up. He walked down the street to turn off the irrigation water for someone. Grandma backed the car out, drove down the street and right into a ditch. Grandpa was pretty proud of his car and was a little upset that she drove it into the ditch so he yelled at Grandma. Grandma vowed that she would never drive again and she didn’t. He spent the rest of her life driving her to the grocery store (and other places) then he’d go home and wait for her to call (she’d use the phone in the grocery story—no cell phones). When she called, he’d stop whatever he was doing, get in the car and go get her. I don’t think he ever yelled at her again. How’s that for women’s lib?

Grandma was very artistic. She was a fantastic seamstress and a great cook. I lived with them for about six months and during that time she taught me many things including how to sew and how to cook. She had Jack’s sister, Elaine, type a lot of her recipes and sent them to me after Jack came home from Korea and we went back East to Quantico, Virginia, where Jack was to be stationed for the next couple of months. Many of the things I learned from her have been invaluable to me. She was a great lady. She died in March, 1981 at 76 years of age. She had breast cancer but she died of a heart attack. The doctor discovered that she had breast cancer but they didn’t treat it because her heart was so bad he figured her heart would quit before the breast cancer became a problem. That is exactly what happened. The day she died, Grandpa had fixed her a sandwich. She was sitting at the table eating her sandwich while he got his own sandwich. He heard her say, “Oh, Arnold, I feel so dizzy.” He dropped everything and ran over to her just in time to catch her as she fell to the floor. He laid her down, carefully, and she was gone. A few minutes later he called us at the office and told us she had just died. What a way to go! That’s how I’d like to leave this world: Quickly and with grace.

There was something else I was going to tell you in this chapter but it slips my mind at the moment so I will stop now. My goodness! How will you all stand it? It’s rather short, for me.

September birthdays: Taylor, September 10th; James, September 15th; Eric, September 25th, Davey and Kammie, September 26th.

October birthdays: Heidi, October 3rd; Zac, October 13th; Kacie, October 26th.

Happy birthday to all of you. I hope you all had/have a wonderful day.

I love you all.