THE LETTER CAME IN THE MAIL

And it’s official. The Department of Motor Vehicles has taken Jack’s driving privileges away. I knew it would be coming and I have to tell you that I expected a huge explosion, but it didn’t happen. Jack opened the letter and read every word. He studied the form that came with it (if your condition gets better you can take the enclosed form to your physician and you can retake the driving test---or words to that effect) and studied the list of sites where the driving test can be taken. He re-read everything then asked me if I’d keep it in a safe place so that when he finds “a doctor who is not his enemy” he can get it filled out and retake the test.

I must admit, I was relieved when the letter came because his driving has been scaring me silly for several years now. If he remembers that the DMV has taken his driving privileges away, we shouldn’t have any more arguments about who is going to drive. Of course, he may forget from time to time.

Thursday night he took his shirt off and in doing so, he pulled one arm inside out. Next morning he decided to wear the same shirt so he tried to put it on. He kept getting it more and more tangled and finally threw it in a heap on the floor, saying, “This is worthless, get rid of it.” I picked it up and within a matter of four or five seconds, had it right side out and ready for him to wear and I handed it back to him. You may say, “Why didn’t you just fix it for him in the first place?” I could have, but he needs to do whatever he can for himself, as long as he possibly can.

Jack has a nebulizer and meds for his asthma. He used to be able to get his own meds and put them in the nebulizer but now, I have to get the meds out for him and take the nebulizer cup apart for him or he puts the meds in the wrong place and wastes them. The other day, he tried to put two nebulizer cups together and got frustrated because they wouldn’t fit. He called me and asked me to help. I have no idea where he found the second nebulizer cup (he must have had it stashed in his drawer and I didn’t know it) but it was causing him grief. I took it and hid it so he won’t be able to find it until he needs to replace the one he’s using. He doesn’t need anything extra to befuddle him more than he is.

My advice to all of you is this: Keep your minds active. Do things to make yourselves think Play a musical instrument but don’t just play the easy stuff you already know. Learn a new and more difficult piece. Play Scrabble---even if you don’t like Scrabble. Do jigsaw puzzles---even if you don’t like jigsaw puzzles. Do crossword puzzles---even if you don’t like crossword puzzles. Do Sudoku---that’ll make you think. Read books and articles that challenge your mind and teach you something new. Don’t always use a calculator. Do the math on paper some of the time. I generally do whatever math I have to do on paper first and then check it with the calculator. The goal is, of course, to do it correctly on paper as though there were no calculators. The calculator is merely a tool to back up your brain---don’t ever let it “replace your brain.” I have no idea whether working your brain will prevent dementia or alzheimers, but I am certain it can DELAY the onset of those diseases. And, this I DO know. Your brain will atrophy just like any other unused organ in your body.

I could tell you myriads of ways in which Jack’s “confusion” manifests itself but I won’t take the time or space to do so. I will just mention a few episodes from time to time to keep you current on his condition so it won’t come as a big “surprise” when he gets to the point I can no longer care for him by myself. I must tell you that his condition makes me very sad. I never thought it would happen to us. I guess no one ever thinks it will happen to them but you cope with what you get in this life. I’m doing great and I will certainly care for him as long as I can. It is what it is. I still have my music to buoy up my spirits and it also seems to calm Jack when I play the piano or organ so that is pretty much a daily part of my routine. I have family who checks on me and brightens my day whenever they call. I have friends and activities to give me a different perspective and I am still able to leave Jack for an hour or two here and there. I have many blessings.

Now, if I just had an amusing story to tell you to make you smile I could end this chapter on a lighter note. Sadly, I don’t. BUT, please go through my blog and check out the pictures Juli has added for me (and being the sweetheart she is, she gave me credit for putting them on). Don’t quit looking until you see four pictures. You may have to go to “older posts” to see the picture of the house in which I grew up. I’m so excited. Everyone else has pictures and now I do, too. This is fun. One of these days I will make some sketches to add. Don’t expect them to be great. I am the least artistic person in the world. Years ago, my daughters took me to classes to try to teach me tole(sp) painting. They were all so good and I was an absolute flop. However, the classes were not a total loss. We had tons of fun. We laughed and talked and I remember those classes with much love and fondness. I’d take another class any day, just to be with all of my daughters---including Julianne and Heidi.

I love you all.