Did you know that a good belly-laugh every day will help you live longer? Why do you think I’ve lived so long? (I hope to be here a lot longer, too.) I love to laugh, so I try to see humor in most things---sometimes laughing is the only thing that keeps me sane. I heard a couple of pretty good jokes Saturday night and thought you all might enjoy hearing them. (Have you had your good belly laugh today?) I ran these by Tal and Juli. I didn’t even get a snort on the first one but got the “belly laugh” on the second. It doesn’t mean that the first one doesn’t have some merit. Perhaps one of you has a weird sense of humor, as do I. The second one is a tad naughty—hope you’re not offended. If you are, please let me know. I don’t want anyone to think I have an X-rated blog. So, here goes:
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because she heard the Mayor was going to lay a cornerstone and she wanted to see him try.
A man died Sunday morning while he was having sex. He and his wife always had sex on Sunday morning to the rhythm of the Church bells. Everything was going just fine until the ice cream truck drove by.
So much for that! I have had a clipping from a newspaper for some time. I cut it out to share with all of you so now I’m going to share it and then I can throw the clipping away.
The headline read:
WARNING: AVOID READING WACKY LABELS WHILE EATING
DETROIT(AP) Words to live by, from a warning label on a small tractor: “Danger: Avoid Death.”
That warning was selected Wednesday as the winner of the 11th annual “Wacky Warning Label Contest,” sponsored by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch. The contest is part of an effort show the effects of lawsuits on warning labels.
Kevin Soave of Farmington Hills, a Detroit suburb, won the $500.00 grand prize for submitting the tractor’s “Danger: Avoid Death” label.
The $250.00 second place was given to Carrianne, Jacob and Robby Turin of Greensburg, Pa., for a label they found on an iron-on T-shirt transfer that warns: “Do not iron while wearing shirt.”
Richard Goodnow of Lancaster, Mass., earned the $100.00 third place prize for a label on a baby stroller featuring a small storage pouch that warns: “Do not put child in bag.”
Contest organizerBob Dorigo Jones says the silly labels reflect how broken the U.S. civil justice system is.
Honorable mention went to Cyndi LaMonde of Traverse City for a label on a letter opener that says: “Caution: Safety goggles recommended.”
Ann Marie Young of Fillmore, N.Y., found: “The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing checks or any legal documents.”
My own personal comment to the above is: “DUH.”
I love you all. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
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2 comments:
OK, so the first joke is a little funny and I did laugh out loud to the ice cream truck joke. I wonder how many couples dreaded it when Tal drove his ice cream truck into their neighborhood.
Those caution labels are a hoot. I love the hair dryer one, "Do not use while bathing."
I have some pretty good jokes, but only if you are a racist, sexist, chauvinist, bigot with a dirty mind. They are hilarious though!
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